yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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