His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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