Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
