So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
As shirtless as possible
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
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