i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
