So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
