I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
