could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize