the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
