i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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