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don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
