Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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