i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
