Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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