The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize