I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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