third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
