Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Randomize
