Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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