I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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