Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
