you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This house was built for laser tag.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
