Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
