Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Someone shit on the floor
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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