am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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