I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
