Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
