Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
