dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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