Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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