You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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