apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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