Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize