did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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