I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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