No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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