i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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