no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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