what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize