it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
