do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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