i permit you to call me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
