My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He? As in you personified your dick?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
