I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
