On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
