somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
