He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize