On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
