Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Mommy issues

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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(740): View more from Ohio

New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.

(828): View more from North Carolina

1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?

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(315): View more from New York

How drunk was I last night?

(201): View more from New Jersey

You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.

(315): View more from New York

Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.

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