Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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