Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
