apparently the secret to your success is patron
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
