were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
and she was petting her beer can
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
